Howdy, dear readers, how are you faring with the weather? It is a little unsure of itself isn’t it? One week it is warm and spring-like, and the next week it is cold with a chance of snow! Oh well, we really cannot complain too loudly, as all of the flowering trees are in glorious full bloom. And what a sight they are!

I am writing you this column from the Tusculum College library. I adore it here. I feel a little unwarranted sense of entitlement on this campus. My mother attended here, and lived on campus in Virginia Hall.

There is a visitor parking spot that is on the corner of the parking lot, and is too tiny for a normal sized car. My little black Mazda fits perfectly in it. I stroll up the winding sidewalk through the gorgeous manicured lawn (occasionally staring at some of those tall handsome college men). I tell everyone that will listen that my mother attended here. I’ve been doing this for years, and so far I haven’t been thrown off campus.

So far so good.

My day started off with Harley B.

Do you all remember me writing about Harley B? He is my friend Anna’s brown and white English bulldog. He is a mess, buddy!

Harley and I have a special friendship. We just love each other. We are a lot alike really. We are both gregarious to the point of being obnoxious.

We both like to make sure we are heard, and we have no problem making a fool of ourselves in order to get someone’s attention.

We both like snacks and taking too loudly. Harley and I like to sing too. Harley kind of sings in a howly sort of voice, I like to think I sing a little more on tune than he does.

And we both like to aggravate Anna, and have very little conscience about doing it. Anna is older than me and is sort of like my mother. And Anna is definitely Harley’s ‘mother’. I can get Harley riled up by just looking at him with a certain facial expression. Anna doesn’t know I’m doing it. It starts like this .. I’ll be sitting on the couch and Harley will be staring at me, I will scrunch up my face and shake my head at him.

This drives him crazy! He will make a low growl in his throat and then bark! Hahahaha! We have a blast doing this.

Anna has a small farm and everywhere I go on the farm Harley follows me. He’s my devoted buddy. Plus, he hopes I’ll give him a snack, which I usually do.

Well, Anna is getting a little older and she has a hard time giving Harley his bath, so I usually bathe him to help out. Here is how that went this morning!

I had Harley climb into the shower, which Anna just had redone and looks like a million dollars. In fact her bathroom is very feminine, pretty, and kept ‘just so’.

To say Mr. Harley makes a splash in there is no exaggeration! I turned on the sprayer, waited until it got warm and began to wet his fur. He leaped out of the shower stall, shaking water everywhere and made a lunge for the open bathroom door. I screamed, “Anna! Hurry and shut the bathroom door!” Just before Harley made his escape, Anna slammed the bathroom door.

I leaped out of the shower stall, my clothes sopping wet and grabbed ole Harley. He whipped his basketball sized head, and telephone pole sized neck around and tried to bite me! The lil devil!

I hollered, “Listen here Harley! I used to have a pit bull and I made her mind me, so you don’t stand a chance mister! Get BACK in that shower!!”

I wrestled him back into the shower where he kept trying to bite me. I finally got him reconciled to the fact that he was going to mind me (I learned all this bath time perseverance from my mother trying to make my brothers and I take a bath when we were little), and got him soaped up.

I even managed to wash his ears, and all the wrinkles around his nose. At the end of all this fuss, Harley was grinning all over, he loves feeling all fresh and clean, it’s just the getting there that can be the problem.

I put him outside the house to dry off. Then I surveyed the damage done to the bathroom. Oh lawwd. There was fur all over the shower, water splashed to the ceiling, an inch of water on the floor, and every towel drenched.

But ole Mister Harley was CLEAN!

So that is all the latest on ole Mr. Harley. We are still hanging out making trouble.

Y’all enjoy your spring!